Thursday, May 17, 2012

Hop Against Homophobia

Welcome to the Hop Against Homophobia.    I have never experience dealing with homophobia, personally.   I'm not gay,  but I have experienced hatred in the form of antisemitism.   It didn't happen when I was in school, though I was bullied for other things,  for being shy and quiet when I was in elementary school and for when I got my first pair of glasses in the 7th grade.   When I got acne during those awkward teen years, someone had written in my vocational school yearbook that I should get a box of clearisil.

All those things hurt, but I could never speak out against them because no one would put a stop to it.  The school did very little in those days,  there were no anti-bullying programs in place like there are now.  No one addressed it, well except my mom.   She tried to help as best she could, but sometimes that only made matters worse, so I decided to keep my mouth shut and not let my tormenters know how much they hurt me. 

When I left school and joined the adult world I thought  'now I'm dealing with adults.  no more petty crap like in school.    How wrong I was.  My first job  I worked for a small company owned by a Jewish family.    I was doing data entry.  One woman would start talking about Jews (of course she'd make sure the bosses were not in the office when she did)   I won't go into what she said specifically and I would have reported her if not for the fact she was pregnant and I didn't want her to lose her job.  I was just out of high school, naive.  Looking back I would have done things so differently.

I've been told by a few people that I don't look Jewish, after I'd tell them I was.  I'm not sure what a typical Jew is supposed to look like since we're all different. Unless they were thinking of the stereotypes.      Years later I had a boss who told me on pay day that I really didn't need my paycheck since Jews have so much money.  He thought it was a joke,  I wasn't laughing and told him so.

I never thought I'd be interested in writing in the M/M genre,  it is Brokeback Mountain that I have to thank for opening up a world for me.  I've made friends in the fandom.  I wrote fanfic and met other writers.   Those writers started writing their own original stories that got published.  I started writing my own too.     As you can see from the books I have written. 

Love is a force of nature, as is the tag line from Brokeback.   I think that people should be able to love who they want.  It shouldn't matter what their gender is.    I was watching a video a friend of mine passed along to me.   About Shane and Tom.   They were together for 6 years,  they decided to come out to their family.   Shane's family accepted him but Tom's did not.      I think their story would be better served by watching the video Shane posted on You Tube

Warning:Tissue alert.     This video tore my heart out but it speaks volumes how things have to change.  We have to find a way to get the message out about being tolerant and how hatred destroys lives.    Just like with Brokeback and the lessons about not how society made it impossible for Ennis and Jack to be together and love freely.    The events in the movie took place in the 60s, but the question is how far have we gotten on tolerance. 

In the grand scheme of things it shouldn't matter what religion,nationality, race or sexual orientation we are.  What it should boil down to is what is in our hearts that count.   And to find that special someone to share our lives is one of life's greatest gifts. 

As a way to show my support for this Blog Hop event  I am giving away a copy of "Love on the East End"    It was written when gay teen suicides were in the news.   The stories I heard moved me to write a scene about it in my story.  

To enter my contest please leave a comment and your contact info.    I will be announcing the winner on Mon May 21st. 
Thank you

Here is a link to my fellow participants


  1. Discrimination is ugly no matter the reason. Thank you for supporting the blog hop.

    andreagrendahl AT gmail DOT com

  2. We actually left our church because of anti semitism & homophobia, Lily. My daughter was dating a wonderful boy last year, who happened to be jewish and live with his lesbian mom. He actually went to youth group with her and everyone liked him. Yet the next thing I knew I was getting a phone call from our minster. The gist of that call was to encourage me to make her break up with her boyfriend because of those two reasons and when I refused and defended this boy and his Mom I was told that we were bad parents. I do have hope for the future though. I've raised my kids to love and accept everyone, they have no problem with anyone's orientation or race and neither do their friends.

    JPM6966 at

  3. Thank you for the link to the video, Lily.
    It's important that people see the human result of their prejudice and malicious actions.
    I can't imagine what drives people to act this way and why people don't see the obvious love, when it's so obviously there.
    And thanks for the tissue alert.

  4. How terribly heartbreaking...thank you so much for the tissue warning. I am speechless...i didn't even know these men & my heart is broken. Thank you for being a part of this hop.

    raynman1979 at yahoo dot com

  5. That film and situation is a real heart-breaker. It's just so wrong! I don't understand why people have to stick their noses into other people's private lives.
    Things are changing... slowly. In the mean time there will be more and more situations like this that we never hear about.
    The one thing that struck me about this film was how happy the two of them were together, how their love for one another just made them glow.

  6. Thank you for your thoughtful insights. I have been on the receiving end of bullying and discrimination due to my weight. It saddens me that so much of society still thinks it is okay to tear down someone who isn't like them.

    juliebites at gmail dot com

  7. Hi Lily, thank you for sharing your experience with us. We have a long way to go as a society, but I think those of us who are filled with love and compassion can truly make a difference, and hopefully move us toward a brighter and better future where everyone is equal.

  8. Thanks so much for sharing your story, Lily. Bullying anywhere is such a tragedy and I hope that together, we can start to make things better.


  9. Such a sad story. Thanks for sharing.


  10. Thanks for sharing and bullying is wrong no matter in what form or who it is against.

  11. You have a very beautiful blog - and I loved reading your experiences... I am bi and though I haven't had as much trouble with people accepting that (not as much as some other family members do), I find my problem lies with people who instantly get all twitchy because I have mental illness issues -- and so, I can relate... instead of having to deal with homophobes, I deal with mentalphobes (??? I guess) - shrugs... anyway, great post... keep up the great work on your writing... romancewiththeflemingtonsATgmailDOTcom... romancewiththeflemingtonsDotblogspotDotcom...

  12. Here in my home state (Minnesota) we recently had 2 more teen suicides, one known to be gay-bashing related, the other suspected.

    Thanks for supporting this so important issue, Lily. Good luck with the blog-hop.

  13. I was also bullied and harrassed when I was younger. No matter what the reason, it is never OK. NEVER.

    I have seen this vieo before - so sad. My heart goes out to him.

    susanmik AT gmail DOT com

  14. Thanks for sharing. Bullying is wrong now matter who is on the receiving end.

  15. Being a redheaded, big busted, very pale, very smart, glasses wearing Jewish/Catholic kid... I feel your pain.
    Didn't fit in anywhere but in books.
    Thank you for speaking out and taking part of the hop.
    Outsiders are the new insiders :)
    bellaleone4 at gmail dot com

  16. Thanks so much for sharing the link to that video. I bawled my eyes out watching it and then went and shared it with all my friends. Thanks so much for participating and helping fight for equality.

    tiger-chick-1 (at) hotmail (dot) com

  17. I bawled like a baby each and every time I watched that video - it tears at the heart and it always will. Thank you for participating and sharing your wonderful post with us.

  18. Oh jeez, I cried watching this. So heartbreaking. I feel so sorry for the both of them. Thanks for sharing that link, and your own experience with bullying (I'm a bully victim too).

    eripike at gmail dot com

  19. I was bullied as a kid because I was so shy and the schools really are useless. Bullying is wrong no matter what the reason and it should be stopped. I read an article the other day about a school getting a teacher to follow a student around to protect them from bullies. I don't know if it was true because its the internet and you can post anything but I do know that that things should never get that far. Its sad how cruel school can be.

    burchills AT gmail DOT com

  20. Thank you.
    kimwhaley at gmail dot com.

  21. Like yourself I was bullied at school for similar reasons (quiet, shy, glasses) as well as the mistaken assumption that I was actually a lesbian. I agree that back then the parent intervention only made things worse.

    And that bullying doesn't end in the school yard. Sorry you have had to put up with it in your workplace as well. *hugs*

    lmbrownauthor at gmail dot com

  22. I am new to your blog, but would love the chance to read Love on the East End.
    It's hard to know what to add as a comment. I so didnt know where I was at during high school, that the shy, geek, glasses, nerd in me just got through it by hiding in the library. Oh yeah right, that's why I am now a librarian LOL
    batcheorboy55 at gmail dot com

  23. Thanks for sharing your experience and for doing the Hop.

  24. What a powerful video! I am sharing it with others. As the mother of a gay son in a committed relationship, I worry. They are happy in Vermont in their Civil Union, which will change into a marriage due to Vermont's newest laws. They can never live with me here in North Carolina due to the latest Marriage law (not for gays). Oh, well.Times haven't changed enough.

  25. I've seen that video. It's so sad to know a family can shut out the one their son loved without so much as an afterthought.


  26. To me, homophobia is an excuse. An excuse to not acknowledge that something *IS* because it was meant to be. I'm going to use me as an example, not an example of me being homophobic but an example of what I did when I encounter homosexualism. While growing up I never heard the word gay in my house thus I started middle school not even knowing what a gay person was. I heard the other boys call a boy in my class a *faggot* amongst other things and I had no idea what they were saying. Through the years and even after I knew what the word meant I didn't know anyone who was openly gay so it was never in my mind. Once my oldest daughter came to me and told me she was gay, even though I was scare at first, the first thing I did was research. Years later I'm still reading about and coming up with the most interesting things all the time, some very good, some, well... ignorant. Like the Phelps family and their cult followers. There is a word for these type of people, and sorry, it is NOT ignorant. They are just Sociopaths who don't like anything that does not conform to their beliefs. There are too many people who CHOOSE to be their puppets, unfortunately. Here's a couple of interesting things for you to share with your readers. The first one is a test done by a panel of psychologists on homophobia...

    The second is a very interesting read for those who are believers... I'm not a believer but still find it quite interesting...
    Enjoy and thanks for participating in Hop and sharing your views with us!!!
    Sandra Rush

  27. Hello Lily,

    I have not seen that Video before, thank you for the Tissue Warning, Ohhhh how Heartbreaking!

    I believe everyone deserves to be Openly Happy in Life, to be with the Person who Loves & Completes Them, without having to be subjected to the ignorance of some close-minded people. True Love does not see Race, Gender, Socio-Economic Status, etc….if people understood that, there would be so much more Happiness in this World...We Can Hope!!!

    I would very much appreciate the opportunity to be considered in your very generous giveaway for a chance to win a copy of "Love on the East End".

    Thank You Lily for participating in the Hop Against Homophobia.

    Take care & Have a Great Weekend,
    PaParanormalFan Renee
    paranormalromancefan at yahoo dot com

  28. Thank you for sharing Lily. That video was truly heartbreaking. Shame on that family for treating Shane like that.

  29. Hi Lily, I'm participating in the Hop and visiting other blogs as well. I enjoyed your post. Thanks for sharing.

  30. I have seen the video before, I cried then and it was just as sad this time. This hop has been so touching. Thank you.

    peggy1984 (at) live (dot) com

  31. Thanks for participating in this hop. I'm enjoying all the great blog posts.